When I first started training in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, I got my ass kicked. I would practice 1-3 hours a day, 5-7 days per week, and each time I trained I would get tapped out by people I was grappling with. Rear naked chokes, arm bars, kamuras, all of it. This went on for two months and it sucked.
Then one day, I was grappling with a higher belt, and he wasn’t able to tap me out. Then I went with another, and he couldn’t tap me out either. And it kept going like that.
My defense had become so strong from hours and hours of making mistakes and learning what not to do, that people who were much better than me were struggling to submit me.
After a couple weeks of this, I noticed opportunities where I could go on the offense. And eventually I started to get submissions of my own.
The only way you can develop your defense is by making mistakes and learning what not to do. The only way you can go on the offense with confidence, is by knowing that you have good defense. Your mistakes are the foundation for all that you’re trying to become. Embrace them, learn from them, and grow.